Ludicrous labels

I was just looking at my site and noticed in the description that the first thing I said to look for in this blog is rants.  Yet I have published nary a one.  Until now.

My wife went to Costco today (no this is not an anti-Costco screed, I like their pizza too much) and brought back another Gigantic Thing of Garlic.  This is in and of itself a very good thing.  I like garlic, especially in non-powdered form (though that has its uses) and with a new baby cooking time is at a premium.  Having handy minced garlic around whenever I need it makes me happy.  However, this particular Gigantic Thing of Garlic had a label on it that made my eyelid twitch: Fat Free.  Well no shit.  Thank God my wife wisely sprung for the lowfat garlic!  It saves me all the time cutting the fat away when I peel it myself.  Who the hell thinks that there is a High Fat brand of garlic out there?  Besides the complete waste of my time that this label represents it also shows an extremely cynical point of view on the part of the marketing people who designed it – People like things that are Fat Free.  Garlic doesn’t have any fat, so it’s Fat Free at no cost to us.  If we put that on the label, even though no one shops for garlic by looking at the fat content, then people will buy our product.  Wow.  It reminds me of a sign I saw on a shelf at a gas station in Tuscaloosa, AL: “Did you know that pork rinds have ZERO carbs?”  Only in Alabama could deep fried pork fat (I hope that’s what they are) be touted as a diet food.  Zero carbs?  It must be healthy!  And it is, except for all the parts that are made of PORK RINDS.  Again, the cynicism reflected in that sign is vicious.

Selling me something is one thing, but dammit, quit trying to con me.

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